Self-Sabotage & Failure

2.19.2024

By: Shariah James

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…”  Proverbs 23:7 

Self-Sabotage is defined as any behaviors or habits that interfere with your goals and well-being. Some look at self-sabotage as a defense mechanism because many use it as failure avoidance. I’ll explain – for those dealing with self-sabotage, a common thought, whether it be conscious or subconscious is “if I can control the failure I experience, failing will be less scary for me”. So, individuals will participate in self-sabotaging behaviors that undermine their progress and success in order to control the outcomes on their own terms. But who says you would fail to begin with? You have to become a master of controlling any negative thoughts you may have before it turns into self-sabotage.

If you are unsure of what self-sabotage looks like, here are a few examples: 

• Procrastination

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Perfectionism

• Poor Boundaries

• Criticism

• Excessive Control

• Jealousy 

• Overthinking 

In order to overcome the behaviors and habits that lead to self-sabotage, you must change the way you think about yourself in relation to failure. 

Failure is inevitable. No matter how hard you try to avoid failure, you can’t. But, there is a way to change your perspective on failure and it starts with how you think about yourself. 

I saw these positive thoughts in a devotional I read and have adopted them for myself:

-        I am healthy.

-        I am rested.

-        I am productive.

-        I am focused.

These affirmations not only help me remember who I am called to be, they also help me control my thoughts before they turn into self-sabotaging behaviors.

What are some positive thoughts you can incorporate into your life today that can prevent you from self-sabotaging? 

Moving Forward: 

Stop undermining your progress. Stop preventing yourself from accomplishing your goals. Be okay with success being built over time. Be confident in your ability to make things happen. Understand nothing happens overnight. Remember that slow progress is still progress. Embrace failure. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.  

XO,

The Kléi